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Director: Patrick Hughes Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Selma Hayek, Gary Oldman Running Time: 118 minutes

Movies won’t appreciate what they have in Samuel L. Jackson until he’s gone. Not the highest highs, the Djangos, but the long, long list of unmemorable, mediocre or outright awful productions that have been raised one bar higher by the sheer presence of Jackson and the level and legitimacy he brings to every performance. The Hitman’s Bodyguard is a better film than many of those, but it’s many rougher edges are a lot easier to look past when Jackson is cackling hard at the latest inconvenience he’s caused Ryan Reynolds, the titular bodyguard to his titular hitman. Recalling many of the dumb but cheerful odd couple action movies of the 1980, here the at-odds pair’s chemistry is just strong enough to prop up a deeply misguided plot international intrigue, which aims to be something like a comedic episode of 24 but is more like an episode of Chuck if they were allowed to say motherfucker.

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Director: Raoul Peck Narrated By: Samuel L. Jackson Running Time: 95 minutes

“The story of the negro in America is the story of America” is the central message of I Am Not Your Negro, the kind of message white people in the United States have always been determined to ignore. As directed by the activist Raoul Peck, the words of the writer and social critic James Baldwin are as difficult to ignore as possible, simply but firmly putting the black people of the United States in the forefront of the nation’s history where they belong.

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Director: DJ Caruso Starring: Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen, Tony Jaa, Ruby Rose, Nina Dobrev, Toni Collette, Sam Jackson Running Time: 107 minutes

You would be forgiven for looking at a title like xXx: Return Of Xander Cage, a straight sequel to a film released fifteen years ago, and wondering why the mysterious Xander Cage is returning now. Or better yet, where has he been for the best part of two decades? The short answer is dead. The long answer involves Ice Cube and a 2005 sequel/reboot hybrid that may or may not be canon depending on how much of a diehard fan you are (does xXx have diehard fans? Let’s assume it does).

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Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children is not exactly filled to the brim with talking points, so we reviewed the latest Tim Burton film in the style of one of the director’s own poems.

There was a director

Whose films were quite good,

With big hair and big eyes

And a love for Ed Wood.


But some time ago

Ol’ Tim lost his step

When he followed the money

And followed Johnny Depp.


Though his latest film isn’t

A total disaster

It still is a pity

It couldn’t end faster.


So if you have a minute

I’ll help you get filled in

On Miss Peregrine’s Home

For Peculiar Children.


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