In news that this writer immediately sent to everyone he knew in an unbecoming frenzy, they’re making a film about the most important event in 21st century Irish history: Roy Keane being sent home before the World Cup.
Saipan, a new film about the events leading up to Ireland’s incendiary 2002 World Cup campaign, will go into production this summer. BAFTA nominated Cork native Éanna Hardwicke (Lakelands, The Sixth Commandment) will play Ireland football captain Roy Keane, with two-time Oscar nominee Steve Coogan (Philomena, The Reckoning) cast as the Ireland manager Mick McCarthy.
Award Winning filmmakers Lisa Barros D’Sa and Glenn Leyburn (Good Vibrations, Ordinary Love) are set to direct from an original script by Paul Fraser (Heartlands, A Room For Romeo Brass), and the pair have declared the excitement at being the first Irish directors to explore that dramatic summer, at least since Lenny Abrahamson’s Carlsberg ad.
“We’re thrilled to be working with this extraordinary cast and creative team to tell the story of an infamous moment in Irish and football history that drew battle lines across a nation, cast its hopes, dreams and sense of identity into disarray, and briefly made a tiny volcanic island in the Pacific one of the most famous places on earth.”
The film is produced by Macdara Kelleher and John Keville for Wild Atlantic Pictures (Evil Dead Rise, Cocaine Bear, Black 47) along with Trevor Birney and Oliver Butler for Fine Point Films (Kneecap, Bobby Sands: 66 Days) with Patrick O’Neill, Eoin Egan, and Rachael O’Kane serving as Executive Producers.
Wildcard and Vertigo Releasing have acquired UK and Ireland rights on the film, and are scheduling a saturation theatrical release for Summer 2025. Bankside Films have boarded the film for Worldwide sales, with Stephen Kelliher and Sophie Green Executive Producers.
Saipan will be made in association with Fís Éireann / Screen Ireland and Northern Ireland Screen, with a shoot set for Ireland and Saipan later this summer. Greg Martin is Executive Producer for Screen Ireland, with Ursula Devine Executive Producer for Northern Ireland Screen.
The fallout from Saipan was enormous, dominating local news coverage, pitting family and friends against each other and prompting lessons about professionalism, oversight and sound governance that the FAI may, one day, learn from (maybe when they see the film). It remains one of the most significant moments in the history of Irish football, but it is just one of many soccer stories suitable for the cinema.
If Hardwicke and co are successful it may prompt an entire FAICU. There is a rich tapestry of cinematic stories in the sport, not so much based on what has happened on the pitch, which coincidentally went into a bit of a downturn after 02, but rather about the surrounding drama, which is self-evidently more dramatic. Here are just some of the stories that could be told after Saipan.
The Killing of a Sacred Auld Dear
As much as anything, ‘Grannygate’ was probably an indication of how quickly that on-pitch decline set in after Korea/Japan. In 2002 Ireland lost their best player, the world-class captain of Manchester United, prompting international headlines before the team rallied to their best performances ever. In 2007, Ireland lost their best player, a decent squad option at pre-oil money Manchester City, prompting national confusion before the team rallied to only lose 1-0 to the Czech Republic.
Stephen Ireland excusing himself from the Ireland team by claiming his grandmother had died was prompted by genuine tragedy, with the player actually returning home after his partner had suffered a miscarriage. The days of confusion, where the player told the FAI that his grandmother had died, until she piped up that she was still alive, whereupon he claimed it was actually his other grandmother, who was also still alive, were a tragicomic spectacle, and led to questions and coverage that Ireland, the player, never really recovered from. The pitchblack dark comedy of a couple needing genuine privacy and compassion and instead prompting intense scrutiny and criticism would be perfect for Ireland’s adopted director Yorgos Lanthimos.
Who Wrote It
As anyone watching during these years will tell you, the post-match analysis on RTÉ was frequently more entertaining than the games that they were covering, and that not only included Ireland’s international failures, but the glamour of the Champions League as well. A scaled-down, single location exploration of the pageantry, pedantry and panache of the panel would allow for some of Ireland’s most distinguished and respected actors to ham it up with aplomb.
Before analysis of a group stage contest between Liverpool and Real Betis, the classic trio of Giles, Dunphy and Brady, guided by the late, great Bill O’Herlihy, got into a discussion about Roy Keane’s explosive exit from Manchester United (see below). In particular they debated comments made about Keane by Rod Liddle of The Sunday Times, in which Liddle said Keane should be banned from football altogether, and even locked up, a case of the pot calling the kettle black if ever there was one. Dunphy took exception to this. You are Irish and online and you know what he said.
With Lalor Roddy devouring the scenery as Dunphy, the underappreciated Dermot Crowley stalwart as Bill, supported by Liam Cunningham and Stephen Rea as Giles and Brady respectively, the stage would be set for a tense, terse chamber play, a thriller film about divided loyalties, crossing unspoken lines, and running away with young ones. Our very own Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy: Okey, Dokey, Pundit, Pervert.
Saipan 2: Manchester
The movie market is all about sequels, and if a filmed adaptation of Roy Keane’s explosive argument with his manager over a badly-timed interview leading to his exile turns out to be a success, it could well result in a filmed adaptation of Roy Keane’s other explosive argument with his manager over a badly-timed interview leading to his exile.
Whether Hardicke has signed up for multiple sequels is not yet clear, but it would be a better way of locking off a decade of his career than him being announced as the next Green Goblin or whatever, and if we could partner him up with Brian Cox as a sweary Sir Alex Ferguson to portray Keane’s Manchester United exit, we’ve got the perfect Empire Strikes Back midway point in the trilogy before wrapping up with the underwhelming Saipan 3: Stephen Ward’s Dull Voicenote.
Bohs: The Movie
There may be no way of knowing if the promotional skills of Bohemian FC’s CEO Daniel Lambert are successful enough that they could lead to a hagiographic movie/marketing campaign framing the achievements of his clients as vitally important activism. But if there were, then some of the world’s most prestigious film festivals could be graced with the riotous and rebellious story of one football club striking a blow for counterculture, by finishing midtable, repeatedly. Are the club too small to make headway at the box office? Perhaps, but that need not be a problem; actually watching Bohs has never been a requirement for a significant portion of their fanbase. Besides, international audiences could be brought onside with a few tasteful cameos they might recognise, with actors portraying genuine Bohs legends like Bob Marley, Phil Lynott, or Sten Reinkort.
Champagne Football
Over a fifteen year reign, John Delaney ruled the FAI like a Peter-Principled Caligula, in a wild haze of excess and incompetence. His poorly thought-out finance plans for the Aviva Stadium brought the FAI into debt, his drunken antics at Euro 2012 brought the country into disrepute. He ran the FAI into the ground, receiving an eye-watering salary and benefits in kind, while neglecting the league, encouraging cronyism, and conducting himself with immense self-satisfaction and zero self-awareness. He was an absolutely terrible person to give power, which makes him an absolutely perfect person to make a movie about.
The book Champagne Football covers the John Delaney era in all its cringeworthy glory, from Delaney’s Bond-themed 50th birthday to his silent performance in front of an Oireachtas committee. From flashy girlfriends to small town pitch openings, he craved approval and spent other people’s money to get it. On screen, it was the role Peter McGann was born to play. Behind the camera? Martin Scorsese may only have a few films left in him during his twilight years, but who could better depict the lowlife high society, the craven consolidation of authority, and flop-sweated desperation of the former FAI CEO?
I promise this website is still about movies please just let us have this today.
How about Forget Paris 2? It’s 2010 and as the country struggles to get through a recession one man has gotten lost in the sea of Facebook comment boxes after Henry’s handball. The man, Stevo (possibly played by Mondo from Fair City) plans a paintball attack on FIFA HQ in Zurich but after getting blacklisted by the local credit union for previously unpaid loans is then forced to do his own fundraising at a local sports day. It’s there he sees his long suffering wife having it off with a local chef while his work experience lad burns the sausages on the bbq. Stevo awaits an explanation from his slightly embarrassed lady only for her to break into a long threatened rant about his priorities in life, all of which culminates in his refusal to leave the house 3 months after the play off defeat. Why can’t you just Forget it Stephen??? Forget Paris!